happy but sad - i don't know.. it's just me

I just recently found out that Mel and Ashley are going to stop podcasting. And to tell you the truth I am really sad about this. I don't know them personally (of course!) and we're not even internet-friends but I will miss them. Listening to them makes me happy, the thought that  the two of them are in love and they are experiencing some of the problems that I am facing now makes living a bit easier.

And this made me think of what or how it will affect me if KC and Elka stopped podcasting. I am not obsessed with them or anything like that but I love Elka and KC.

Before I get too upset and too sad, I'll end this entry now.

During my lunch break today, I went to our chapel.. I was there not really praying just thinking of random thoughts when this question popped into my head.

What if I can read someone's mind, who shall it be?

And my initial answer was, my bestfriend (the person I am in love with) of course. I want to know if she feels the same way towards me. But then, I saw these nuns praying and I've changed my mind. I want to know what a nun thinks! Do they have bad thoughts.. dirty thoughts perhaps? Are they all what I expect them to be?

On another subject..
I've been waiting for a card that I don't really  know if I was going to recieve. Everyday for the past two weeks I've been looking at our mailbox before I leave for work and after I work. I don't want to ask this person if they sent me one because.. I don't know.. I'm just shy, I guess. But the waiting is killing me! I guess I just have to remind myself to be patient.. And if didn't receive any cards from them, I just hope that they got the cards I sent them. I adore these lovely ladies.. sooo much.

If people knew the things that make me happy, they'll think that I'm insane or crazy or shallow! But really.. simple things make me happy. Like being remembered by someone I adore/admire, who never really know me personally acknowledges me or just.. remembers me.

I'm sooo happy. :)

Simple little things make me happy. And it's the best!

Note to self:
Elka & KC

Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle.

Paulo Coelho

Last night I dreamt that I have lots of dandruffs, not tiny ones but big ones. So I searched what's the meaning of my dream and here it is.

Dandruff
To dream that you have dandruff, indicates that you are misusing your energy. You may have been under a lot of stress and tension. You should rethink the way you are approaching any of your current problems. Alternatively, this dream may suggest a lack of self-esteem.

And my dream totally makes sense! I was finishing the jigsaw puzzle that I bought last week and I was so tired, my back hurts and my feet are numb but I kept on doing it. My mother told me that I should rest and stop wasting my time on that puzzle. I guess she was right.

I've been in love with the same person for the last four years. And you're probably thinking, "Hey, that's great! Four years and you're still in love with her." You're wrong. I love her but she doesn't know that I do.

I wish that I can see what my future is like, if I'm with her or not. Because if I do, I will not be wasting my time thinking if I should tell her how I feel. I want to start the rest of my life with her right NOW! If only I knew what is in store in my life for the next five or ten years.

Should I tell her that I love her and HOPE that she feels the same way?

or

Should I tell her that I love her and RISK losing her forever?

I’ve just talked to my best friend. God.. I am so in looove with her..

I am listening to podcasts and I really don't think I will ever contact the hosts of this podcast but I did. I think I emailed them last month(or 2 months ago) and they've recently published a new one and they included the emai I sent them on their podcast! I was sooo happy! They're from the United States(Texas) and I'm here, in the Philippines and somehow we are communicating! I don't even know this guys personally but I've learned to love them. Aaahh.. I'm just sooo happy

My mother bought a calendar last Wednesday. She put it on my door.

I don't even like Hello Kitty but since my mother bought it for me.. I kinda like it.

Today is my mother's birthday, she's 58 yrs old. I just want her to be okay and to be healthy. I love her soooo much. Mama, I know you'll never read this but I love you, I always tell you that. Happy bday Ma!

I was on my way to work and I saw this man with a penis on his key chain.. a wood-carved penis! Eewww!